"We read to know we are not alone"

I've been thinking about this idea since Ann Patchett's visit to my school on Monday. In advocating for the writing life, she stressed the necessity of solitude. Yet she qualified this by saying that she is never alone when she is reading. She also never watches television in order to make time for reading and writing. I haven't turned on the television in ages either, but ostensibly for no such admirable reason. Largely because the Gilmore Girls went off the air and Rashad McCants no longer plays for UNC. But I did yesterday, and I heard Anthony Hopkins as C.S. Lewis announce to my living room, "We read to know we are not alone." I hadn't seen Shadowlands in almost a decade, and as much as I loved it when I was younger, I don't know that I could sit through the sadness of it again. Still, I am going to make myself one of these days because there is no way that I understood the profound nature of Lewis's ideas back then. I got the love story part, that's for sure. But yesterday, I was mesmerized listening to him talk about prayer. A colleague, who recently learned that Lewis's companion was in remission from cancer, says to him, "This is what you've been praying for" and something about God answering him. Lewis says candidly to him, "That is not why I pray. I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because it just flows out of me. My prayer doesn't change God, it changes me." Yep, this one is going in the Netflix queue.

So back to Patchett. She described her characters and story ideas as "living" in her head. She drives around town with these people and ideas, eats meals with them, and basically feels their constant presence as they take shape in the form of a novel. This reminded me so much of graduate school and living 24/7 with paper ideas. I would go running with paper and pen in hand because sometimes the ideas clicked when I was furthest away from my computer. (BTW, I did thank her for Truth & Beauty and said that it really spoke to my grad school experience. It was clear upon uttering this fervent gratitude that I was the one millionth unoriginal person to do so.) I guess the thing that struck me the most about her visit was the way she talked about the desire to write. She said that you know you are a writer if you can't quit the habit. I know what she means. I do not aspire to be a novelist, but I get ancy if I haven't blogged in awhile. If I'm lacking ideas. If I haven't read a good book recently. When I first moved to Nashville and away from grad school, I experienced the oddest sensation that I could not identify for some time. I would feel unsettled for what seemed like no reason in the world. After looking around my house, thinking about teaching, taking a run, it would finally hit me. I desperately needed to read. The second I opened a book I would feel like a cloud had lifted. I'm better able to identify this feeling now, but it still makes me laugh. It's the strangest craving.

I'm in the middle of The Patron Saint of Liars now and cannot believe I waited this long to read it. I am also going to take this opportunity to highly, highly recommend getting David Sedaris's Holiday on Ice, but on audiobook. I laughed so hard listening to him read about being a Macy's elf that I almost wrecked the car. Good dysfunctional family stuff, and it's the perfect time of year for it.